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Post by suze on Dec 8, 2010 15:27:46 GMT
I guess this is a joke that has been doing the rounds, but if you didn\t see it b4, it made me laugh! I phoned Lib Dem Head Office & asked for a copy of manifesto. They said they'd sold out. I said "I know, but can I have a manifesto?"
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Post by anne on Dec 13, 2010 22:39:31 GMT
Who was in a snake pit and got out unharmed?
. . . . . . . . . The snake
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Post by mumndad on Feb 14, 2011 10:03:59 GMT
Just found this Anne thought it really funny .Mum.
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Post by mumndad on Feb 14, 2011 14:31:19 GMT
Dont know how my reply got on the snake funny, it was the penguin one I meant, made me smile.
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Post by anne on Feb 14, 2011 22:11:56 GMT
The polar bears and penguins are my favourite too, it really made me smile that one You may have seen this picture before ..
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Post by suze on Feb 15, 2011 17:40:35 GMT
that pic took ages to come through!
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Post by mumndad on Feb 15, 2011 22:16:31 GMT
Like that one as well Anne. Been a cold wet day today, just did some ironing and some of my new puzzle I got from a charity shop.
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Post by suze on Mar 17, 2011 8:16:04 GMT
ah, doing a puzzle mum, made me laugh to see that comment when you read this joke I just found somewhere else on line, it made me think of you doing puzzles all the time:
----------------------------------
There once was a woman who was struggling with a puzzle, so she got on the phone to her daughter ..
Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started."
Her daughter asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished, mum?"
The little mummy says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster."
Her daughter decides to go over and help with the puzzle.
Mummy lets her in and shows her where the puzzle spread all over the table.
The daughter studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to little mummy and says,
"First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster."
She takes her mum's hand and says, "Secondly, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then," she said with a deep sigh ............
"Let's put all the Corn Flakes back in the box."
;D
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Post by mumndad on Mar 17, 2011 20:30:57 GMT
your mum is still laughing. very good
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Post by suze on Apr 1, 2011 15:23:46 GMT
In general I'm not one for April Fools gags ... especially in newspapers ... it's hard enough to believe the news as it is .. but in my boxercise class today the teacher showed us a set of jabs he wanted us to do that involved using both hands at once .. we were all paired up and going for the double handed jabs .. then double handed uppercuts, looking totally ridiculous, which we did for a bit then he stopped us and said we were doing it wrong .. and then asked us what day it was .. penny-dopping time ... you perhaps had to be there to get it, but it was a rare example of genuinley funny April Fools and everyone was laughing at themselves in a really good way ..
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Post by anne on Apr 1, 2011 22:49:11 GMT
That's a good one!
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Post by Mark on Apr 2, 2011 0:26:47 GMT
Funny.
Also funny is Tracy (wife) having her birthday on April Fools' Day. At least it is easy to remember.
I agree with Susan about bogus stories in newspapers or on tv, it's just not funny at all.
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karen
Full Member
WHEEeeee.......urk
Posts: 168
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Post by karen on Apr 14, 2011 10:57:11 GMT
In the beginning God covered the earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, with green, yellow and red vegetables of all kinds so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.
Then using God's bountiful gifts, Satan created Dairy Ice Cream and Magnums. And Satan said, 'You want hot fudge with that? And Man said, 'Yes!' And Woman said, 'I'll have one too with chocolate chips'. And lo they gained 10 pounds.
And God created the healthy yoghurt that Woman might keep the figure that Man found so fair.
And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat and sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman went from size 12 to size 14.
So God said, 'Try my fresh green salad'. And Satan presented Blue Cheese dressing and garlic croutons on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.
God then said 'I have sent you healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them'.
And Satan brought forth deep fried coconut king prawns, butter-dipped lobster chunks and chicken fried steak, so big it needed its own platter. And Man's cholesterol went through the roof.
Then God brought forth the potato; naturally low in fat and brimming with potassium and good nutrition.
Then Satan peeled off the healthy skin and sliced the starchy centre into chips and deep-fried them in animal fats adding copious quantities of salt. And Man put on more pounds.
God then brought forth running shoes so that his Children might lose those extra pounds.
And Satan came forth with a cable TV with remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering light and started wearing stretch jogging suits.
Then God gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite.
And Satan created McDonalds and the 99p double cheeseburger. Then Satan said 'You want fries with that?' and Man replied, 'Yes, and super size 'em'. And Satan said, 'It is good.' And Man and Woman went into cardiac arrest.
God sighed ......... and created quadruple by-pass surgery.
And then ............ Satan chuckled and created the National Health Service.
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Post by suze on Apr 28, 2011 15:36:58 GMT
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Post by mumndad on Apr 28, 2011 15:58:47 GMT
we had a laugh at that as well, and the others . Hope it doesn't rain on the day, we have been to monkey world, they are doing a lot of rebuilding in the pens for the monkeys, they will love it ,new climbing trees and ropes and massive floating beds ,all suspend-id in the air . The weather was hot with a light breeze. love Dad xxxxx
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