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May 23, 2010 22:29:17 GMT
Post by suze on May 23, 2010 22:29:17 GMT
May 2010This week - in hospital on Weds, scan on Thursday, results on Friday Scared, me? <sigh> that must be what this new forum is about, giving me something to do!
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May 25, 2010 5:20:08 GMT
Post by suze on May 25, 2010 5:20:08 GMT
I find mysel fluctuating in the way I can remember thinking when I was going to get my degree results ... one minute glorying in the idea of pulling a first out of the bag .. the next minute wondering how I'd cope with the horror of failng ...
I can remember it so well .. getting on the train from Congleton to Manchester .. the usual route, but frought with such tension .. and competing "fantasies" about the results.
These days I think students have more idea about where they are up to with marks already awarded, etc, but that sort of maths was not in our frame of reference then .. so it was quite feasilbe to fluctuate between these two extremes.
I guess the facts of advanced cancer means we're always going for scans to see how bad it is ... have we failed or just scraped a Third? Have new ones sprung up despite the chemo? Are the ones we know about growing bigger .. ?
Set against the shimmering hopes of a First, the miasimc dream that they can have been melted away .. beaten into retreat by the drugs ... bouyed up in thie optimistic fantasy by the fact that the mets on my liver went away last time .. ... ..
BUT .. sooner or later chemo is not enough. Tumours keep growing, it is their very nature to grow .. or they can get resistant to the drugs, these are possibilities too. They seep into your cavities, drop in your tissues and even invade your bones ...
Fingers crossed for a First ..
When I got my degree (thirty years ago!) It was a pretty good outcome ... .. one of the few II i 's the my dept handed out that year .. .. .. .
I'll be judging my scan news this week against a university degree scale! Realistically I know that a first is as improbable now as it was then ... but I think there's enough already done to ensure it's not an outright fail, either!
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May 26, 2010 8:32:25 GMT
Post by anne on May 26, 2010 8:32:25 GMT
Lots of luck and love suze, xx
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Jun 3, 2010 21:35:12 GMT
Post by suze on Jun 3, 2010 21:35:12 GMT
Dr A said it was good, and I said pass me oatcakes! B and the great doc arrived about the same time, he had bought news that the images were as good as they could be, and B hd bought in oatcakes, well she got busy on the phone and I got busy eating the oatcakes before they went cold .. priorities, you see .. mine are all sorted !
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Jun 4, 2010 12:27:18 GMT
Post by anne on Jun 4, 2010 12:27:18 GMT
The joy on your face is so very clear, suze
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Jun 4, 2010 17:30:30 GMT
Post by suze on Jun 4, 2010 17:30:30 GMT
The joy on your face is so very clear, suze Aye, I'm a proper Stokie and I love me oatcakes
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Jun 4, 2010 19:10:47 GMT
Post by Pauline on Jun 4, 2010 19:10:47 GMT
Well Sue I must say you look well on that photo. I am so pleased about the results.
And I like oatcakes too. There ain't any oatcakes like Staffordshire oatcakes. I believe there is a secret ingredient. Wonder what it is?
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Oct 13, 2010 7:40:23 GMT
Post by suze on Oct 13, 2010 7:40:23 GMT
October 2010 blimey, doesn't time fly .. now I have the next scan looming in my head, and the same whacky fluctuation between optimism and fear ...
scoffing my berries for breakfast and re-reading all my threads in here is reminding me that we have stayed pretty well focussed on the diet designed to improve my chances, and also kept fit and mainly a good mental attitude .. tho I got pretty wobbly on that at the end of August, I seem back in control again now!
mostly
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Jan 29, 2011 10:26:49 GMT
Post by suze on Jan 29, 2011 10:26:49 GMT
January 28th 2011
Another scan showing that there are no new tumours and that the spot on my lung is static, no change, so no chemo required ..
We are very happy with this news and convinced that this programme is making the difference for me
Yay!
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May 21, 2011 8:49:05 GMT
Post by suze on May 21, 2011 8:49:05 GMT
MAY 20th 2011 Ditto .... how amazing, a whole year off and another 6 months promised .... even Dr Adab is starting to ask what it is that I am doing ... perhaps I'll buy him the book!
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May 21, 2011 9:37:09 GMT
Post by Pauline on May 21, 2011 9:37:09 GMT
Fantastic news Sue! I'm so pleased for you.
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May 21, 2011 11:27:28 GMT
Post by mumndad on May 21, 2011 11:27:28 GMT
:)Well what more can we say when we get such good news, we are over the moon. Perhaps Dr Adab will be thinking of installing you at the hospital to give advice on your eating habits and exercise to other patients. Lots of love to you both L.M. xxxxx
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Nov 5, 2011 9:08:27 GMT
Post by suze on Nov 5, 2011 9:08:27 GMT
Nowember 2011Well here we are again .. scan time looming ... Seeing Dr A for the results on Friday late afternoon ... texts to follow! It does not get any easier to go for these things! I just had a dream about a peacock flying into the house ... It was flying outside then came into the window. It was very big and flew into our bedroom and flew around for a bit .. There was only me an it in the bedroom. It was scared and fluttering and seemed to fill the room. Then it got smaller and smaller until it looked like a pigeon, and I was thinking to myself it doesn't look like a peacock at all. Then is was very samll and fluttery and it landed on my hand. By then it looked like a little pink chick, with a big open mouth nothing like a peacock at all by then. Obviously it was afraid and then it settled. When I tried to take photos of it, thinking I would show my friends this strange bird the light was such that you could hardly see it on the screen. ------------ When I woke up I said to B what does it symbolise to dream of peacocks? Firstly she asked me how it had felt .. this is a standard way to interpret your dreams. I told her it was wierd and a bit scarey, cos it is scarey when you have a creature in your house, you have to think of how to get it out ... but becasue it shrunk it wasn't scarey anymore. She said she didn't know about it as a dream symbol, but it is said to be bad luck to have peacock feathers in your house. The house is a symbol of yourself, in dreams, it often reflects how you feel and the status of your body, especially if it is clearly your own home that the dream is in. I am taking heart from the bad-luck interloper shrank and wasn't visible in photgraphs now! x
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Nov 5, 2011 12:41:17 GMT
Post by Pauline on Nov 5, 2011 12:41:17 GMT
Good luck with the scan Sue. I know nowt about dream analysis myself but I hope it is a good omen. Maybe it means the shrinking of that awful C..... word.
I must say the picture reveals a beautiful bird. What a lovely colour.
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Nov 5, 2011 14:50:44 GMT
Post by mumndad on Nov 5, 2011 14:50:44 GMT
Do you remember the beautiful peacocks they had in the school grounds in Coventry Can not say much on the feathers in the house, Ive never tried to annalize dreams. Just hope everything is dunky dory on Thursday, will be thinking about you lots of love L.M. xxxxxxx
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